He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
