Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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