i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
