Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
