your room smells of hookers.
And success
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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