I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
