arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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