wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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