Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
