i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
