the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
