We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
