i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
