what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
