that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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