So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
