We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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