I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
vagina is talking i cant
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
