spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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