Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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