I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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