dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
