i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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