if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I need moral support for this bender
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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