Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
