Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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