just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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