they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
