i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
