Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
