the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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