and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
