Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
