Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
