did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
