I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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