Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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