Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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