she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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