i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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