I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
