the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
