you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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