i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
