Kiss
Puke
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
