their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
