What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
