I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
