Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
