Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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