Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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